Random. That is what my life has been over the past week or so. Random thoughts. Random doings. Random people. Random meetings. I have been loving random. And this post keeps up with the dictated-from-up-above-in-the-skies theme for the week.

I saw this guy in the lift yesterday. A random guy. And I liked him. Now this doesn't happen quite often with me. An effect of my minimum and apparently high standards, combined with the fact that the guys here are so very pathetic. Trust me. I am not kidding. And so my dormant heart fluttered its wings a tad bit. Not like he was dashingly smart and handsome with a body to die for. I don't know what it was. Probably his persona. I really don't know. Oh well, since he was a random guy, I don't think I'll be seeing him again. But hey random guy, in case you randomly bump into this post, you made my heart go oo la la.

People change. Over time. I need to get used to this. Although this has happened so very many times in the past, it seems to come as a shock to me every time it happens again. With every new person, I think that history will not repeat itself. Oh no, you can’t do the same thing. Everyone is not the same. The vibe here is different. Well, guess what. It's basic human instinct. It is bound to happen. Sooner for some, later with others. Heck even I've changed a hell lot. I probably need to readjust my highly optimistic optimism-meter. Lower it down. Stop expecting people to behave in a certain way. Oh. I might as well achieve nirvana then.

I need something to happen. I feel that my life has suddenly plateaued. I'm on this grassland with no ups and downs and no valleys and no floods and no thunderstorms and no droughts. Just a plain boring flat piece of land. I need something to happen. To rock my world. To make me think and go all crazy. It's like all I'm doing these days is waiting for that something to happen. Do you guys have times like these too?

Wednesday on a Friday. One word to sum it up. Brilliant. And relevant too, coincidentally, or otherwise. Go watch the movie.

Apparently, I have a wall around me. An invisible wall. One that does not allow me to portray all that I feel on the inside in real time to the person next to me. No, not all the time. Half of them. It seems like I have this subconscious need to guard myself at times. Guard myself from the big bad world. I know its a self defense mechanism and people do resort to it every now and then. But mine is more frequent that it should be. Often unnecessary. This is bad. I'm into raw and natural and organic. Not the food, the person. You know what I mean. And the sort of wall sort of hinders me to be what I want to be. I want to be but I can't be.

On another note, I have been wondering about surprises lately. I love surprises. The pleasant ones of course. It's all about managing your expectations. And when you, some other person, or life in general, happens to surpass your expectations and land something unexpectedly awesome on your plate, it feels good. Great in fact. Touch wood for all the goodness in life. And a toast to wonderful times ahead. Cheers.

Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway. There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.

- How I Met Your Mother

Karma has this weird way of creeping up your back and biting you in the ass when you least expect it to. It is at times like these that you wonder why you did the things that you have done.

I have made mistakes. This is to make me feel better.

On the brighter side, I have learned. There is no better way of learning, is there?

Seriously. What is wrong with people? Or am I the only one blessed with a decisive mind in this world of fools?

It is a decision. One fcuking decision. A teeny weeny decision that, as much as you want it to, will not change your life. It is as simple as you have 10 apples and 2 baskets and you have to distribute the apples into the baskets in any random way you please. In random way. Very simple. Why, why is it so difficult? It is so beyond me. Really. I cannot figure out the complexity. Or complexities. Those that have been keeping you from taking that damn decision.

And why do I always have to come and sort out the mess and show you the way out of the black hole, back into the universe? No, it's not only you. It's every freaking person who needs to make a decision around me. Fine, that's blowing it way out of proportion. But every third person for sure. Do I have some sort of something plastered on my forehead that says I know all the answers? Or do I look like I have attained the state of nirvana and letting me take your decisions for you is the only way you can inch closer to salvation?

Grrrrr. Yes I growl.

I need a change. I need to be at the other end. I need to know what it is like on the flip side. I need you or whoever to be taking my decisions for me. Maybe not. But I definitely do not need to be taking your decisions for you. Grow up.

I'm picking up this tag from Humble Devil coz it looks like fun. Ys and Ns to random have-you-ever-dones.

Y. Smoked a cigarette. One puff. I don't think I ever want to have another.
N. Done some form of dope.
N. Crashed a friend's car.
N. Stolen a car.
Y. Been in love.
Y. Been dumped. Although it was not exactly dumped. More on the lines of let go.
N. Shoplifted.
N. Been fired.
Y. Been in a fist fight. Not really a fight. I punched this guy in the face with my fist. Does that count?
Y. Sneaked out of your parent's house.
Y. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
Y. Gone on a blind date.
Y. Lied to a friend.
Y. Skipped school. I used to do it quite often actually, once upon a time.
Y. Seen someone die. In front of my eyes. The slow painful death. Not pretty. Wrecking would be appropriate.
Y. Had a crush on one of your Internet friends.
N. Been to Canada. I would love to some time.
N. Been to Mexico. And I would love to again. A travel freak I am.
Y. Been on a plane. Not a fan.
Y. Eaten sushi.
Y. Been skiing, snow or water. Water.
Y. Met someone from the Internet.
Y. Been at a concert. Love them concerts and shows.
Y. Taken painkillers. Now this is a retarded question.
Y. Love someone or miss someone right now.
Y. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by. More like laid on the beach lounge chair.
N. Made a snow angel. Is this like an angel drawn out in snow?
N. Had a tea party. Come on, I am not part of British royalty.
N. Flown a kite. Sad. I have always wanted to.
Y. Built a sand castle. More like boring sand hills.
Y. Gone puddle jumping. In the rain.
N. Played dress up. Not that I can remember.
N. Jumped into a pile of leaves.
N. Gone sledding.
Y. Cheated while playing a game.
Y. Been lonely.
Y. Fallen asleep at work/school. Both places. I love my sleep.
N. Used a fake ID.
Y. Watched the sun set. My favorite sunsets are by the beach and the middle of the ocean.
Y. Watched someone sleep.
Y. Felt an earthquake. I thought I was having a dizzy spell, attributed it to stress and decided to take things slower in case I may be nearing a brain hemorrhage. An hour later, I learnt that I was in the middle of an earthquake.
Y. Slept beneath the stars.
Y. Been tickled. Another retarded one.
N. Been robbed.
Y. Been misunderstood. Come on. Isn't this what the world and its complications revolve around?
N. Pet a reindeer/goat/kangaroo. Dog, yes.
Y. Won a contest. A silly one. Unfortunately it was not a lottery.
N. Run a red light/stop sign.
N. Been suspended from school. I have been suspended from class though.
N. Been in a car crash. I was almost in one. Touch wood.
N. Had braces. I freaked out when the dentist told me I would have to extract two teeth to get them on.
Y. Felt like an outcast/third person. Third person.
N. Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. I can't do too much of sweet in one go.
Y. Had deja vu.
Y. Danced in the moonlight. Coolness.
Y. Liked the way you looked.
Y. Witnessed a crime. More of a moral than a legal crime.
Y. Questioned your heart. Like every other day.
Y. Been obsessed with Post-It notes.
N. Squished mud through your bare feet. No no no.
Y. Been lost. On different levels.
Y. Been on the opposite side of the country.
Y. Swam in the ocean.
N. Felt like dying.
Y. Cried yourself to sleep.
Y. Played cops and robbers. Chor police. Even handkerchief robbers for that matter. Rumaal chor.
N. Recently colored with crayons. Been ages. I suddenly miss them. The pastel ones.
Y. Sang karaoke. Lol. Drunk half the times.
Y. Paid for a meal with only coins.
Y. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't. I keep doing this. Again and again and again. The some things I just won't learn.
Y. Made prank phone calls.
N. Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose. That's gross.
N. Caught a snowflake in your tongue.
Y. Danced in the rain.
N. A letter to Santa Claus.
N. Been kissed under the mistletoe.
N. Watched the sun rise with someone you care about. Not a morning person.
Y. Blown bubbles. Love them.
N. Made a bonfire on the beach. Did one on a rooftop.
N. Crashed a party.
Y. Gone roller skating.
Y. Had a wish come true.
N. Jumped off a bridge.
N. Ate dog/cat food. Do people do this? They must be desperate.
Y. Told a complete stranger you loved them.
Y. Kissed a mirror.
Y. Sang in the shower. Every damn day. Lol.
Y. Had a dream that you married someone.
N. Glued your hand to something.
Y. Kissed a photo.
N. Climbed a water tower.
Y. Screamed at the top of your lungs.
N. Done a one hand cartwheel. Wish I could.
Y. Talked on the phone for more than 5 hours.
N. Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
N. Climbed a tree.
N. Had a tree house.
Y. Been too scared to watch a scary movie alone. Always. Even with people.
Y. Believe in ghosts.
N. Have more than 30 pairs of shoes. Pretty near it though.
N. Worn a really ugly outfit to school.
N. Gone streaking.
N. Gone doorbell ditching.
N. Been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on.
Y. Told you're hot by a complete stranger.
N. Broken a bone.
Y. Been easily amused. Always.
N. Caught a fish then ate it.
N. Caught a butterfly.
Y. Laughed so hard that you cried. Happens every time I laugh hard. And the stomach hurts.
Y. Cried so hard that you laughed. Or was made to laugh.
Y. Cheated on a test.
Y. Forgotten someone's name. It does happen pretty often with the random people I know.
N. French braided someone's hair.
N. Gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub/river.
N. Been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house.
Y. Loved someone so much you would gladly die for them. Fine, may be not die die, but close to doing anything.
Y. Cheated on someone.
Y. Talk to yourself when no one is around. All the time. Even when there are people around!
N. Hate someone you once loved.
Y. Love someone you once hated. Hated is a strong word. Disliked is more like it.
Y. Kissed the phone for the person on the other side.
Y. Kissed the person on the other side of the phone.

Goodness. This is bloodly long. And I am tired.

Over and out.

Live your dream.

Rock On. I liked the movie. Sensible, in the recent basket of utterly rotten ones. Young, fresh and alive. Besides the fact that I love Farhan, and watching him rock this movie has only increased the love ten fold.

Anyway. This is not about my love for Farhan or Rock On. This is about dreams. Dreaming the dreams. And living them. All those beautiful, bright and shiny dreams. The chase to realize them. The quest to reign them. The hunger to breathe them. And to finally live them, it is a wonderful feeling indeed. Almost surreal. Beyond imagination.

I dream. I dream and I wish. Wish for them to get real some day. Some dreams do come true. One of mine did a couple of months ago. A dream that I had dreamed for over a decade. I never thought it would. But it did. And there is nothing that can beat the overwhelming feeling of living your dream. Realizing the dream gave me hope. Hope that at the end of the day, life can turn out the way you want it to. Hope that the impossible can turn out to be possible at times. Hope that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. Hope that keeps me going.

So all you people. Dream. I know that when they shatter, it gets painful and breaking and killing. And that does happen every once in a while. But you'll never figure out the joys of being on top without having ever been down under. Trust me. It's worth it.

I took destiny in my hands today. After contemplating for hours and looking out for signs and and flipping coins and constantly wondering, I lay it down into my very own hands. And I am waiting to see what happens next. Touch wood.