Wednesday on a Friday. One word to sum it up. Brilliant. And relevant too, coincidentally, or otherwise. Go watch the movie.
Apparently, I have a wall around me. An invisible wall. One that does not allow me to portray all that I feel on the inside in real time to the person next to me. No, not all the time. Half of them. It seems like I have this subconscious need to guard myself at times. Guard myself from the big bad world. I know its a self defense mechanism and people do resort to it every now and then. But mine is more frequent that it should be. Often unnecessary. This is bad. I'm into raw and natural and organic. Not the food, the person. You know what I mean. And the sort of wall sort of hinders me to be what I want to be. I want to be but I can't be.
On another note, I have been wondering about surprises lately. I love surprises. The pleasant ones of course. It's all about managing your expectations. And when you, some other person, or life in general, happens to surpass your expectations and land something unexpectedly awesome on your plate, it feels good. Great in fact. Touch wood for all the goodness in life. And a toast to wonderful times ahead. Cheers.
Apparently, I have a wall around me. An invisible wall. One that does not allow me to portray all that I feel on the inside in real time to the person next to me. No, not all the time. Half of them. It seems like I have this subconscious need to guard myself at times. Guard myself from the big bad world. I know its a self defense mechanism and people do resort to it every now and then. But mine is more frequent that it should be. Often unnecessary. This is bad. I'm into raw and natural and organic. Not the food, the person. You know what I mean. And the sort of wall sort of hinders me to be what I want to be. I want to be but I can't be.
On another note, I have been wondering about surprises lately. I love surprises. The pleasant ones of course. It's all about managing your expectations. And when you, some other person, or life in general, happens to surpass your expectations and land something unexpectedly awesome on your plate, it feels good. Great in fact. Touch wood for all the goodness in life. And a toast to wonderful times ahead. Cheers.
17 comments:
Its normal dear. Every one has walls. Some have walls with huge gaping holes you could fly a plane through. Some have walls you could just walk around, some have walls you have to break down and some people, like me, have fortified walls along with a moat and a castle!
I had so many of them, i broke them all.
Che - You don't seem like a fortified wall with moat and castle guy though. Interesting.
Buzz - Don't people work the other way, generally in life. No walls and then you start to build the walls? And once you build them, they are almost impossible to bring down?
bubbly...
wednesday was amazing. i totally agree. and JIMMY...oh Jimmy, jimmy...i loved those brown cordrouys and his one-liners. i mean can you imagine..they ended up making a chocolate boy look actually menacing...naseeruddin shah and anupam kher reminded me of al pacino and de niro...i mean these guys are a class apart...
like che says...all of us have walls...but at times the walls end up becoming so tall that we are unable to see whats happening outside. and when the wall springs up between our eyes and mind and heart, thats when we are in trouble because we are hiding ourselves from our ourself. and i dont think you have reached that stage... yet :-)...
experiencing the unexpected is actually incredibly beautiful. i love surprises too, but unfortunately over some years my surprises have been highly unpleasant...so i have stopped expecting...it is like they say...go with the flow...but yeah...life's good...
that was a long comment, no...?
hmmm well how can you tell from what i write ;)
If U want to be U can Be...all you need is lots of perseverance...and we all have walls surrounding us...
You write few lines but you convey so much through them - I've to say it's rare and cool.
'I'm into raw and natural and organic.' - that's what I'm looking for, not the food the person dear :)
And yes, cheers...
i have walls. and i can't do without them. the possibility of leaving myself vulnerable to being hurt deters me from being my complete, natural self with anyone except family. and i think i prefer it that way.
Preeti - Lol. Probably longer than my post. Kudos to Wednesday once again. No, fortunately I am not hiding myself from me. But I think that is only a step away now. I'm hoping it a long long step which I will be able to avoid taking. I am sure life has brought some, albeit very small, pleasant surprises in recent times. Think.
Che - I thought I could. But apparently not.
Toon - As I said, I know everyone has walls. They just vary in height. And kind. That is what makes the difference.
Still - Thanks! I am humbled.
Pseudo - Yes. Vulnerability and its consequences is what I fear.
Totally get you, keeping people out just comes naturally to me. And you know, strangely, even if I do want to 'bare my soul', as it were, I find it exceedingly hard to talk about it. Writing, now, that's different.
But with me, most of the time, it's a chandler bing-kinda defence mechanism, the bad awkward jokes and all, pretty annoying, hehe :)
Glad to meet someone else who's aware of How I Met Your Mother. My favourite line from that -- Whenever I'm sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead :) How wise is barney?!
@bubbly...
i am thinking...
ha ha ha ha...tall surprises too...!!!
Yep cheers to all the wonderful things in life and hope the walls come off when the moment is right.
heya,
thanks for visiting me at my blog! youre welcome to come back anytime.
i had huge 4ft wide walls .strangely.. they all come crashing down when i dated my "no no" guy..lol. then i put them back up again.
now with Mr. Right.. its bit of a struggle!! strange how things work backwards!
henceforth, i wont have ne walls in my life. just free road and free me. free to walk the road i wish to.....
thats my destiny, i have arrived to after brokin thru infinite walls
Hey...longtime no new post bubbly...where have U disappeared??
ah, my wall. walls, rather. bigger than the great wall itself, felt from miles away. they can be permeable though.
I like giving surprises. they break the norm, propel an unsuspecting someone from orbiting around the dull to a look on their face worth millions!
Dropper - My walls just make me numb. No defense mechanism there. And yes, I love Barney's awesome thing!
J - That is some good hoping there. I like.
Grafxgurl - Yeah. The no no guys know how to smash all the walls right out of their way. Lol. My post walls are way higher than my pre walls.
Toon - Been busy. Sorry!
V - Selective permeability is smart.
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