August 08, 2008

You know when you want something. Want it with a passion, want it with a burning desire, want it with a wanting? You run after it. You run chasing after it, leaving your life behind. Leaving your everything behind. And after the ups and downs, rises and falls, makes and breaks, you finally get to it. You finally get it. Hold it in your hands, your very own hands. You can't believe it. It feels surreal. It feels good. It feels pretty damn good. But only for a second. Only for a moment. After which you realize it ain't as great as you thought it'd be. You start wondering about what it was it in that you were after, and you just can't put your finger to it. You just cannot figure it out. And you wonder if it was all worth it. But isn't that all you ever wanted at some point of time? Wasn't getting it what your life was all about once upon a time? Didn't you swear to conquer heaven and earth to get to it?

Is it really always about the thrill of the chase? Is it only about the journey, never the end?

It is funny how priorities change in life. Drastically. Overnight. One day you want something, the other day you wonder why you wanted it. One day you think of walking down the road to your right, the next day you start running back to take the other path instead. Will there never be a live happily ever after, where we can just not want anymore, be satisfied with what we have?

I breathed a breath of air today. The kind of air that I used to breathe a year ago. More than a year ago. It feels good. I miss the air, the breaths in the air. The missing kills my heart and my soul. In fact, they were killed. Already dead. That one breath just made them live again, for a moment. I am glad I breathed it today. I felt like you did too.

Breathe. Please. I need your breaths to breathe.

18 comments:

humbl devil said...

you need to find yourself first... :D
learn to rein in your greed..dunno, if greed is the right word...but i find that greed is present in everything, even though infinitely small...ambition, love, lust, etc...though in both ways...good and bad...
and you have to learn to commit yourself to the cause...
if you become the project manager today, you cant be the op manager, or BU head, next day itself...

dunno still, if my comment has found the right context!!!
:D

Anonymous said...

wants are never ending... priorities are keep changing... desire to get something you dont have is constant... loss of value for something you have already achieved... mind to keep running in different directions...

are all truths of life... and they all represent CHANGE... the only thing that remains constant in life.

the earlier you accept it. the better it is.

learn to live the life for the day, the moment that you have RIGHT NOW.... coz yesterday is dead and tomorrow will be born from today... so make the most of TODAY!!!

Let your hurts, dismays, worries, fears loose... let them fly... they want to go as well... just release them and you would BREATHE!!! and breathe the freshness of life thats TODAY!!!

Believe me you would be surprised with yourself the day you manage to do it....

Dont know whether all of it made sense... hehehehe and I anyways ended up saying a lot ;)

Zombie said...

Your post had a lot of depth and honestly I think a lot of pain..were you in love and lost it? Maybe this sounds too cliche'..dunno ..I just felt so. If it's anguish you are going through, I hope it reduces soon. Take care..

Bubbly Vodka said...

Zombie, thanks for dropping by. You read through it right. I will survive, I know that. It just gets difficult sometimes.

Zombie said...

hmm..I understand. I can relate to it. Take care of yourself

Zombie said...

why dont you write something here..everytime it gets difficult..and yes stay in touch!

Scribblers Inc said...

complex...but well written...

Scribblers Inc.

Solitaire said...

Its ok to be confused. And its ok to be confused for long. And its ok to not know that we are confused! In the end, its all ok.

Toonfactory said...

Woww...I think right now I can relate to what U said...great..superb blog...came to your blog from Zombie's..
:) smiles

Mez said...

This is replica of my thinking. So true!But u know overnite changes (for worse) scare me. And worse is when people take 360 deg turns.

Mez said...

Oh btw we think a lot like..it will be fun readin u daily :)

Mez said...

*alike

Bubbly Vodka said...

Thanks guys, I feel all the love! :)

I will try to keep up with the writing, been pretty busy lately.

burf said...

hi bubly, i think those who are making invite only blogs going against the for public soul of internet. anyways their wish...

any why do you have anonymous comments off?

Bubbly Vodka said...

Burf - I like having names to associate thoughts with. Makes me feel like there is a person and not a wall on the other end.

Toonfactory said...

Hey Bubbly..thanks for the visit & comment...hope U feeling okay by now...when can we see a new post of yours??

Paradox Philic said...

The expression, the style, the simplicity, the genuineness, the innocence, the wisdom.....

I loved it all!!

aqua gurl said...

If i'd scroll to my older posts....i'd find me writing like this..agree with almost everything in this post.
I always convince myself saying its the journey, that pleases me....never the end....coz the end is far....just a stop but the journey is what you learn from, what makes you rise and fall.
thnks for dropping by, like your writing style...will visit often.