Fcuk. It's hitting me again. I hate it. I feel like someone just dived his hand down my throat and pulled my gut out. Literally. And on the way out he punctured a chamber of my heart, and I can feel it bleeding inside. Bleeding and filling up my chest cavity. I think I'm gonna choke on the blood soon. Too much going on inside. Way too much than my system can handle. When is this going to stop? Seriously, I need to know. It goes all fine for two days, five days, a week and a half. And then a thunderbolt seems to be let loose from somewhere up there, hitting you when everything is bright and shiny, shocking you back to square one. Back to your old, pathetic, miserable self. Ugh. I am disgusted by myself. By how sickeningly weak I can be, how stupidly emotional I can get, and how unseemingly dependent I can behave. I disgust me.