August 27, 2008

I hope to get out of this mess called me soon. The implications are driving me insane. It's not exactly where I want to be, seriously. No matter how cool I am with everything, this is not one place I want to be at. And I am praying as hard as I can that I don't end up there.

You know what makes life this complicated and screwed up. All the shite that happens and all the shite that the shite that happened makes happen. Got the drift? Every action has a reaction. And every reaction has a reaction. And it keeps going on and on and on, spinning this ugly web all around you. A web of actions and reactions. It's suffocating me. It's getting me all claustrophobic. And I am wondering what I will do with the web when I want to live life again, the assumption that there will be such a day at some point of time, a result of my shiny optimism. I am wondering. And I don't have an answer.

I want to wake up and see that this was just a bad dream, a nightmare, an unreal nightmare. I cannot take the worry. It's killing me. And I don't want this to be the cause of my death.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

oye dont create complicated situation round u. take one messy web n unwind it slowly...

humbl devil said...

we all want to, dont we???
but before doing anything...you have to think a lil bit...think not about yourself, but your loved ones..those who would be immediately be affected by your actions...your parents, your siblings...your closest friends..those who need you...will your actions help any of them???or would they prompt some of them to follow suit???will their lives be thrown into sorrow and grief???and ask your heart this...would you want their grief on your conscience???
yeah we have to be a lil self-less here...rather than being selfish and thinking only about ourselves...
be a lil strong...
a lil goes a long way...
ryt now life may be throwing you thorns...but the flowers will blomm when their time comes...and maybe not...maybe life will be the same...but wait till your life doesnt have any dpendents...then you can do whatever you want...persevere..
but dont give up on life yet...
i know it's not easy...me going through a similar phase..hehe
but still manage to hide behind a smile through all the pain...

have faith in yourself...i think you do, but need a lil bit more...you made it till here...you will come through all this...

:)

Infectiously Witty said...

I ll tell u what..I ll guarantee I m in deeper shit than u ..U want to trade the crap that has been in our lives...hit me up on my blog..who knows mebe u ll find my life is worse than urs..and u ll find peace :) what have u got to lose?

humbl devil said...

forgot to add one major bit...
if it's your loved ones who are giving you a hard time...then u need to be blunt and stand upto them..
dont take all the crap coming your way...

Mez said...

have blogrolled u