I'm the man! After months of not being responsible for doing the shite but doing it anyway, after interviewing half a dozen people who were more experienced than me, after racking their tiny little brains over this so obvious decision. They finally gave me the job. Wohooo! Although I shouldn't get really wohooo about it. Come to think about it, some of the responsibilities that come with the role are probably worse off than what I'm doing right now. But the good stuff, is gonna be awesome. The experience - priceless. And getting me closer to my next promotion. Which I am hoping to get by the end of this year. If they concentrate on capability, potential, performance and all those things, instead of looking at the number of years that I have slogged. They'd better give it to me, coz I bloody well deserve it. So much for modesty there. But hey, when you know you've got it, you just do. And it's not only me. My team believes that there is no one better for the job than me. Oh well, as long as the pride is not over inflated, no harm really right? I mean you have to get realistic at the end of the day. Haha.

The week was pretty fine. Two days ago, I was writing our numbers on one of the stupid stats boards when this random guy who was walking past asked me the weirdest question, 'what would happen if i erased all of this?' And I told him that would be my chance to play detective. Or something on those silly lines. We talked about what I did and what he did and all that jazz, and then he walked off. It was stupidly cute I thought. You know how the uncles and aunties like to ask kids silly questions which don't even make sense, just to strike a conversation with the child? Okay I don't know if uncles and aunties do that, but I sure do ask those kinda questions. That was my little girl moment for the week.

And there was this awesome job opening. Which I decided to forego. Coz they just gave me the job. That one is definitely better than the one that I have. But I decided to be nice. I know that right now, the team literally can't survive without me. I felt sorry for M and the girls and the team and the work and decided not to apply. And I know emotions don't have a place in the corporate world and one day this decision is going to come and bite me in the ass. Oh well. I'm not really nice too often. This is one of the rare times that have I decided to be. I will stick to it.

From next week I'm going to be firefighting yet again. For the coming 3 weeks. Omg. Someone or the other is on leave and I'll be practically running the show till everyone is back on track. Coz M is new and doesn't know too much. I wonder what I'm gonna make him do. That's something to think about. And he's my manager. And I'm thinking about this. I should tone it down, give up, learn to mind my own business, blah blah. But I simply can't. Coz I don't think he has the expertise to manage to work yet. I mean he's good with the people but not as good with the work. I hope he'll learn. And I hope I'll learn too, to think about what I'm supposed to think about instead of what others supposed to think about. Me and my smart ass. Argh.

And then M, the other M, is leaving. Leaving for good. Oh no. I didn't really like her work when she first started. But it got better with my constant nagging, which she takes on pretty sportingly coz she knows I'm right. The work is pretty okay now, and I nag when it's not. I have just come to realize that she's a good-hearted bimbo, so she will have to make those mistakes again and again, and I will have to remind her every time. There is just no way out. Despite all that, I really like her. She's fun, young, gossipy - yes, I need my gossip, especially coz I have almost none in my ultra boring life. And she takes up responsibility for the team, which I completely love. Unlike the previous biatch of a manager who didn't know her work or the people bit. I mean wth was she doing as the manager anyway. I was fcuking better than her. She even admitted that to me once. Bleh. Okay, back to M. She's lovely and I'm going to miss her real bad. She's moving to another role in another department. The thing I like most about her is her own self. She's in her mid-thirties, happily, yes happily married with 3 kids, and a rockstar. Seriously, I have never seen a mom like her. A great mother who takes care of her kids, has a demanding job, and yet parties every weekend. She inspires me to be like her someday. To be married and still have a life. A very happening life at that. I will be like her someday. Love you M.

I was talking to Z the other day. And we were on about commitments and marriages. Everyone I know is marriage-phobic in some way or the other. Some so extreme that I prefer not to even talk about the topic when around them. I was telling him that for some weird reason, I am not afraid of marriage, getting married, married life, at all. Not at all. Yes I feel weird and I wonder why. Even he was shocked. I just like the entire marriage concept. Of course, very very dependent on the other person in the marriage. So, considering I have the perfect guy right in front of me, waiting to take me away on his dark black horse, I'm all game for it. Nope, no running away. I think it's probably coz I have seen a lot of happy marriages around me. Not like I haven't had my share of unhappy marriages. But the silly optimist that I am, I still believe that marriages can be happy. They can work out, they can be better than bachelorhood, they can give more meaning to life, and that you can be happy and married at the same time. And everytime I say so, deep down I hope it doesn't turn out the other way for me, if ever, whenever.

I'm trying to write a normal blog here. The normal people's normal life kinda blog. Where people write about their oh so interesting or oh so boring lives. I have just typed out a whole load of crap up there, but I think it's just plain boring. It's difficult to move on. No matter how idiotically optimistic and hopeful and chirpy and happy and whatever I am, I find myself sinking in the sands of the past again. And again. And again. You know how they say the key to being happy and contented is living in the present and all that. God should have just created a mechanism whereby a night of sleep could erase all that had been registered into the brain over the past. Then there would have only been the present, not considering future in the equation of course. That would have helped. Maybe since God didn't, the almighty human race should give it a shot. Whatever. I need to move on.